Okay, 2015 was not the absolute worst year in the history of film (the 70’s had some abysmal entries as well) but it is certainly the worst in recent memory.
It was the year of the spy (4 of them actually watchable).
It was the year of the overhyped and utterly vapid blockbuster with entries like:
Avengers: Age of Great Directors Phoning It In
Jurassic World: The Unbreakable Heels
And of course
Star Wars: J.J. Should stick to making TV
And even on the more serious side of things the selections were often lacking. Joy which should have been a great story of American entrepreneurship and the trials of bringing a new product to market was just a soap-operaish cheap reproduction of the misery of Will Smith’s The Pursuit of Happyness (only with more misery). DiCaprio had some fun with a bear, but otherwise the film was dull no matter how good the acting was. People raved about the scientific accuracy of Matt Damon growing potatoes on Mars (ignoring the key plot point of a hurricane level storm that leaves him stranded is literally impossible in Mars’ thin atmosphere…) but I am tired of rescuing Damon (Private Ryan, Interstellar, The Martian) next time this stupid twerp of an excuse for an actor gets lost I say we let him stay that way.
But that said let’s look at what thin pickings we had. And I’m going to be a bit sparse on the comments as we have reviews for all of these movies already and doing this blog is already a painful reminder of what we had to suffer through this year.
1. The Big Short:
One of the best movies on economics I have ever seen. Every actor turns in a great performance, and Steve Carell turns in the best showing of his career.
2. Age of Adaline: An actually touching and moving movie that avoids the stupid sappiness of a Sparks story while also not becoming the typical Hollywood pretentious tripe.
3. Woman in Gold: Both a moving tale of humanity, a terrible tale that the effect of Nazism continues to this day, and remarkably Ryan Reynolds does a serious role well.
4. Tomorrowland: Hideously under-appreciated tale of the potential of humanity.
5. Spectre: An ending to the Craig Bond tales. An actual ending. Must be a first for Bond.
Man from UNCLE. Kingsman. Mission Impossible. The spy movies this year were numerous and fun, but only Bond reached what I would call great. (But it was fun watching Barry blow-up up in Kingsman.) Secret in their Eyes, while flawed was still good.
So what was the worst movie of the year? It’s hard to say. While it annoying that Mad Max has gotten praise, despite being a waste of film that can only appeal to those who value style over substance (regrettably too many film critics), I would have to say the absolute worst film was Aloha. Not just because I had hopes that this would be a good movie and not just random scenes that made little sense….but because near the end there is perhaps one of greatest comedy scenes I have ever seen in any film and now it was wasted on this pile of offal.
That said. I am looking forward to 2016…there are serious movies to look forward to and some just fun ones…such as:
Dawn of Justice
Gods of Egypt
Knight of Cups
My big fat Greek wedding 2
Free State of Jones
X men: Apocalypse
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
(I’ll more than likely be disappointed with quite a few of these but at least I have options)
Of course there are also movies I dread, like
Inferno—because let’s skip over the best book in the series to make the 4th and worst book in the series.
Star Trek—Everyone involved in this needs to die. You have ruined my favorite show and you must be punished.
Civil war—I’m done with the MCU.
Ben-Hur—Because we should remake a perfect movie for some reason.
Another Bourne film—I can only hope that the plot line involves the Jason Bourne from the books showing up and kicking the shit out of the whiny loser Damon turned a great character into.