All Hail the Emperor of the United States

Whenever the President is about to give a speech, that I’m aware of ahead of time of course, I like to chime in just before it to predict what he WILL say vs. what he SHOULD say. Although, in this instance what I’m about to write is much shorter than usual because I am of the opinion that he should have NOTHING to say with regards to using his “pen” to create Executive Orders (or whatever fancy term his administration will undoubtedly tout in order to justify why it’s “not the same thing” so there is nothing illegal about it!) in order to supersede the rule of law whereby it dictates a President cannot and should not act alone! But of course that is my opinion, so you may disagree as you wish…

Now, onto what he, unfortunately, will say. Again this is all in my opinion. And by the way, to those who feel it unnecessary for me to constantly mention everything I’m writing is my opinion, I apologize, but you have NO idea how often I’ll get “know-it-alls” trying to shut me and my OPINION down because they disagree. You know who they are. That’s all they know how to do, shut down without so much as a viable argument.

Anywho, back to what I am writing this for in the first place. The President, from the White House thankfully (cause for a second there I was expecting him to be giving this speech from a casino in Vegas!) will probably start his speech by mentioning his understanding that his colleagues (or “folks” as he likes to call groups of people which I can’t stand by the way) feel what he is about to do is illegal. But he will assure the American people that as a college professor (blah, blah, blah, he’ll probably mention some form of his degrees to us I’m sure) he knows full well the lengths to which he can and cannot go as President. He’ll probably say he’s following the playbook of previous sitting Presidents. To which I’d ask him, “hum, sir, since when do you think it’s cool to follow in the footsteps of a man you’ve spent the better part of 8+ years blaming for EVERYTHING.” But I’m getting off topic again!

He’d then circle back to speaking to those illegals he knows are watching right now. Well, actually, they’ll all be, according to his “racist” stereotyping of illegals, watching the Latin Grammy’s. Again I’d have to wonder how stupid he thinks I and the American people are? Hispanics are not the ONLY illegals in this country therefore they will not ALL be watching the Latin Grammy’s! Ugh! Okay, okay, I’m gonna get through this I promise! All I know is, if he should say even ONE WORD in Spanish I might break my television! Why do I get a sinking feeling he’s gonna bust out with some really HORRIBLE Spanish? Lord help me if he does!

Where was I? Oh yes, after he gets the attention of all those nail biting illegals who are hanging on his every word, he’ll then bust out some snazzy name he and his staff (whose sole purpose is probably to come up with fancy anagrams) have thought up of. It’ll encompass everything, but he so much better than the D.R.E.A.M. Act, because this one will include adults and have more to do with work than schooling most likely.

He’ll give us VERY LITTLE substantive information on the actual provisions of this “executive order” except he will go into some diatribe about how he probably met with some people who told him they were illegal and how much they appreciate all he’s doing for them and how he’s seen pictures or received some letters from illegal children that he reads every night before he goes to bed (more blah, blah, blah). He’ll have some Jose or Maria or Juanita name he’ll bust out with and use them as the example for ALL illegals everywhere. He’ll explain how the majority aren’t criminals. At which point we’ll all roll our eyes collectively because BEING HERE IS IN ITSELF ILLEGAL, THEREBY MAKING YOU A CRIMINAL!!! Argh!!!

*deep breath*

Okay, so, lastly, he’ll end by explaining how all of this will be GOOD for the economy, GOOD for families, and GOOD for Americans in general. But again, he’ll give very little explanation on just how that is even possible! We’re just supposed to take his word for it, cause…you know…he’s been so right and truthful and honest and fair to us already!

So, altogether now people, bow down and HAIL The Emperor of the United States!


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Categorised in: America, Economy, Obama, Politics

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