Interview with Our Next Leader

Recently, I was given the opportunity to interview a very engaging person. She calls herself Pope Sparkles and is asking for your vote for her to become Dictator. Now I know this may seem odd, but I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by her candid answers!
It has come to my attention that you are vying for dictator. If you were to be granted such an honor, what steps would you take toward fixing outrageous gov’t spending? “Well, number one: I would cut out useless government spending. Including 90% of the programs that the new deal brought us. And then I would cut out wasteful departments like Education, Energy and the EPA.”

Interesting, so you advocate minimizing government. What is the least useful department in your opinion? “Mmmmm…least useful. I’m going to go with the National Endowment of the arts. I believe true art comes from the heart.”

In your reign, would you be benevolent, hands off or rule with an iron fist? ” For the most part I would be benevolent. Not too much with the iron fist as I will be busy fixing things.”

Many have suggested this nation can not afford a dictator. According to the constitution, we should have a president. So, how do you see your dictatorship coming in line with the founding of our country?”Well the reason I need to be a dictator is so I can take over the federal government and get rid of those in congress who are not allowing us to run properly. I have to be a dictator to bring us back to our founding ways.”

Last question: If you do become dictator…may I have one of the Florida Keys? “Oh! Well…hmmmm…since I am only doing the federal side of things, I can only grant government land…I can not give you part of FL as that falls under states rights.”

There you have it folks! A candidate for dictator. Remember…vote early and often for Pope Sparkles.


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Categorised in: Election 2014, Entertainment, Politics

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